


I don't even like dogs

by Sapphicteaspill



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Lockdown AU, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphicteaspill/pseuds/Sapphicteaspill
Summary: Never in her life had Villanelle expected that buying some pets would convince Eve to move in with her. || POST S3 ||
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Irina Vasilieva & Konstantin Vasiliev & Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 19
Kudos: 120





	1. один - ONE

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know.
> 
> Nobody asked to read about the ongoing pandemic because let's be real, we already have enough of it. But I was bored, KE deprived and needed something to do. I hope you enjoy this piece of work.

Being in quarantine was worse than being imprisoned, she decided. 

Russian women’s prison had to be her least favourite place on Earth, but it had at least been entertaining. All that Villanelle saw now, was a white wall that desperately needed to be painted. She had been stuck in the house for less than a week, and already struggled with cabin fever. If she compared this to prison, she knew that this Lockdown-situation would be better. Just on the paper, of course, because in her head, this was torture. Prison had reeked like unwashed women and filth. The uniforms had been itchy and covered in old bloodstains of past inmates. Sometimes when she had slept, rats ran over her face. Once, a rat had been carrying the finger of her rotting cellmate. She hadn’t been too fazed back then, just rolled over in bed. It wasn’t like she needed her beauty sleep, but she didn’t care enough. The worst part had been the food. Mostly bread and disgusting meat. No seasoning what-so-ever, impossible to chew and probably out of date. Thinking of the food made her shudder. Of course, she knew that going to prison had been a punishment for killing Anna’s husband. She accepted that. But this Lockdown was a punishment she didn’t deserve. She was just doing her job. Certainly, her targets had done enough bad things in life. Not that she needed to tell herself to get some sleep at night. 

A few months ago, Villanelle had purchased a house just outside of London. She had wanted to be close enough to Eve, to have an eye on her, but far enough away to be less of a creepy stalker. It hadn’t been hard to buy a house with her means and a false identity. Her ability to pay in cash surely had played a part in it. It was an older cottage, surrounded by a big garden with a beautiful gate. The area wasn’t all that interesting. Not much too see, except for some sheep and fields. There were a few pubs in town, but nothing too exciting. In fact, she would argue to be the most interesting part of town. She truly didn’t need to worry about money. Not even if she was living her lifestyle without a job for many years. After losing her beloved flat in Paris a few months back, it had been time to get a new place. Preferably with a walk-in closet.   
Perfect for shoes, designer clothes and the occasional body. How close it was to Eve was just the cherry on top.

She was a few days into Lockdown when she had started to play with the idea of inviting Eve to quarantine with her. Just her and Eve, locked up in a small space with absolutely nothing to do sounded just like heaven to her. It was just a matter of time until they would be fucking. Or until one of them snapped and killed the other. Perhaps both.

And secretly, she would really like to find out, if they couldn’t just be normal together. And maybe watch a movie. 

*

Two little puppies were squirming in her arms when she opened the door. She was wearing a blue satin robe with little birds on them. She looked like she was some odd piece of art, but Eve was used to it. It was no surprise that even when Eve showed up unannounced, Villanelle was neither unprepared, nor surprised.   
“Well, won’t you look at that, girls?” She said in her sweetest voice possible. “Mommy has finally returned to her family.”

Eve just walked inside, dragging her bags behind her. She was too tired to question her. Before she arrived, she had worked a nine hour shift at a food delivery service. Her first day, and she had already quit. Finding a job that was up to her intellectual standards was really hard, after being fired from MI5, and MI6, and pretty much every other job she had ever worked in. Her age surely didn’t make it easier either and her patience with people shrunk every single day.

“Since when do you have dogs? You don’t even like dogs.” She sighed and kicked her shoes off. The door fell shut and Villanelle placed the dogs on the floor, for them to run around and play. With a shake of her head, she nudged Eve’s shoulder. 

“Eve, not in front of the children. They need to see their Daddy as a hero.” 

She took Eve’s coat and hung it up before she pressed a kiss to her cheek and waddled off, behind her dogs. 

The puppies were small balls of fur, one a bit smaller than the other and it was more than unlikely that they were related. Growing up in America, Eve had grown up with a few dogs. Her parents had thought that keeping a pet would make her more responsible, but she would argue that it hadn’t really worked. The chicken she had kept with Niko had ended up on the dinner table to celebrate the divorce and she hadn’t even flinched.

“Why are you Daddy?” 

“Do you think this is the first time someone called me Daddy?”

“Shut up,” Eve said and picked up one of the puppies. 

The puppy was a little black Scottish terrier with great curly fur. Its big eyes stared up at her and nibbled on her finger. She laid down on the sofa, the dog on her chest. Villanelle sat down on the armrest, running her fingers through Eve’s hair. 

A few months ago, this wouldn’t have been normal, but after standing on the bridge together, their relationship had progressed quite a bit. They weren’t conventional and they weren’t a couple either. Sometimes they would hang out with each other and have dinner. Villanelle would always leave right before Eve went to bed. She didn’t wanna put any pressure on her. Or that was just what she was telling herself. Maybe she just wanted Eve to come to seek her out for more. At her own speed. 

“Eve, meet Eve.” She said. “Look at her, she looks just like her mommy!”

“And why exactly did you think you should buy a dog, let alone two?”  
With her hands handled in the mess of dark curls, Villanelle bent over her face and just stared down at her. 

“I was lonely and I didn’t want new Eve to be lonely.”

“You’re travelling for work so much, are you gonna hire a dog sitter? Who’s gonna take care of them?”

Oh, of course. Always rational Eve was already asking questions that Villanelle had been overthinking. And she definitely hadn’t been thinking about them just now. 

Now, one might have assumed that she was an internationally operating assassin and that nothing she did was exactly legal, but she took pride in her own health. Villanelle wasn’t the most mature person, but she took the danger of the virus serious, and so did Eve. There weren’t many people whose lives mattered to her. If you had asked her, she could have probably named about… three. She could have named them, but she wouldn’t. Not or anyone. Much rather, she would take offence in the question, either claim she cared about a lot of people or none at all. 

Still, she couldn’t see herself working far away at the moment. Travelling would be a bitch and she could use the time to keep herself busy. She would do some home renovations in her house, and maybe, if Evie wanted to, she would keep her around. They could even raise the puppies together. Only if she wanted to be here with her.

And the answer to that scared her.

Eve’s dark eyes stared up at her and she could have gotten lost in them, but Villanelle cleared her throat. 

“I thought that maybe you would come and, you know, have a little holiday with me. Help me raise the dogs and renovate the house? Now that you don’t have a job anymore.”

She licked her lips. 

“Wait - How did you know about my job.” Eve sat up and almost bumped into her. “Actually, don’t answer that. It will only piss me off.”

Villanelle looked away, down to the other dog that was nibbling on her toes.

“So, is that a yes?” She wiggled her eyebrows and Eve laid back down.

"Not like I have anything else to do, huh?"


	2. два - TWO

The majority of Villanelle’s house was a building site, she had to admit. Most renovations were long overdue, and she knew that when she bought the place. Generally, she had thought that this could be her little project on her days off, but being a freelance assassin, now that The Twelve were history wasn’t as easy as anticipated. For some reason, people were more occupied with not catching a stupid virus than hiring assassins. What a surprise. 

The house itself was bigger than Eve’s house with Niko had been. She had wandered around it earlier, looking at the different rooms. There were three bedrooms with a bathroom each upstairs and a living room with an open kitchen. It was open, spacious and flooded with daylight. There was even a big garden surrounding the house and even if it wasn’t furnished yet, Eve just knew that it would be beautiful. There was only one thing that she couldn’t figure out. How was this house so normal?

In general, Eve had expected Villanelle’s house to be covered with traps and weapons and painted in crazy colours. Of course, her apartment in Paris had been relatively normal, but still, it seemed simply odd to her.

Instead, the living room was painted in pastel colours with matching furniture. The room screamed normal but wonderfully decorated. And she struggled to accept it. 

They were sitting next to each other with a respectable distance between them. Just the way Eve liked it, officially. The puppies were sleeping on their laps and they were watching whatever show was on the telly. It was all so normal, so mundane and unsettling. Villanelle had lit a fire in the fireplace and they had ordered so much Asian takeout that they could have fed the neighbourhood.

“What are you thinking about, Eve?” She heard Villanelle hum. Her hazel eyes were mixed on her and she came to wonder how long she had been staring at her. It couldn’t have been a worse moment. Her mouth was stuffed with noodles, a bit of soy sauce on her lips, looking just ridiculous, but Villanelle just looked like she was seriously interested. 

Eve swallowed hard and put her chopsticks down on the table. When she spun back around, Villanelle reached out, cupped her face and wiped the soy sauce away. Once again, she had to swallow. They were just staring at each other. 

“I was wondering what we will name the dogs.” 

It was a blatant lie, but she would not elaborate on her psychoanalysis of her psychopathic girlfriend. That would be quite rude. And potentially dangerous. And she really didn’t want to disappoint her, or worse, ruin their evening. 

Villanelle looked down at the dogs. She pointed at the dog she had formerly called Eve. 

“That’s Apricot. And the other one is Peach.” She shrugged. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s really on your mind, yeah?”

Eve sucked in the air. The moment her hand had left its spot on her skin, her face started burning up. It was just like she missed her, even though she was sitting right next to her. Subconsciously, she moved closer. Carefully, as to not wake the dogs up. She wasn’t a monster after all. 

Villanelle’s eyes flickered up and down and she opened her arms a bit. Eve laid her head on her shoulder. She wrapped an arm around her and she couldn’t resist but rest her face in the dark curls.

“I’m just surprised how normal this is.” And it was the truth. 

“I told you, I want normal and someone to watch movies with.” She hummed. “Well, at least in my time off. Nice house with pets. Coming home to someone and having a nice evening.” 

Just because she was an assassin, just because she may or may not be a psychopath, it didn’t mean that she was looking for someone to be normal with. She was looking for someone who could return her love and she had been looking for it all of her life. The things that she hadn’t gotten as a child, not from Anna and not from any of her hookups. No, nobody gave her what she wanted. Nobody gave her the love she needed. Not the love, not the affection and not the understanding. She was living a lonely life. A sad life in which she never found anything to fill the hole inside her heart. The killing was fun. It gave her a kick. It got her off and she enjoyed it. But what came after the killing? After the high, there was the low, when she just wanted to cuddle up in bed and eat comfort food. And all she could see was coming home to Eve. 

She knew that Eve loved her, in a strange way, maybe, but she did. 

“I never thought that you could be so sentimental.”

“I don’t do sentimental.” She huffed. “I do honest.”

Eve slowly sat back up and placed the sleepy puppy on the rug. When she looked back down at Villanelle, she saw the disappointment in her eyes. She looked so sad and hurt as if someone had literally just kicked her puppy. Eve shook her head and offered her hand. 

“I hope that the bed is big enough for both of us because I am old and I will not sleep on this sofa.”

Her face lit up instantly, eyes glimmering with mischief. Villanelle stood up with way too much enthusiasm and almost made peach drop to the floor. Luckily, the little dog climbed off to the sofa first.

“Why, Eve, I’m surprised you would even want to sleep in bed with me.” Villanelle purred and turned the TV off. “Are you scared that you might have to cuddle me?”

Eve rolled her eyes and took the remains of the dinner to the kitchen. She didn’t even question it. No, there really was no point arguing with Villanelle. She might never be successful with those arguments and she was ready to simply go sleep. 

~

It was quite an odd scene. Villanelle was sitting under the blanket, a book in her hands. There was a candle burning on the nightstand and Eve couldn’t help but stare at her from the bathroom door. The bedroom was more than spacious with a walk-in closet and mostly everything that she would have imagined from this place. It was modern, minimalistic and somehow cold. There were no personal objects. Nothing that spoke on Villanelle’s personality.

The blonde woman was wearing an oversized Tshirt from a build a bear shop and it made her wonder if she had purchased it the same day she had bought the bear that ended up on her own doorstep. She didn’t question it. It wouldn’t be a surprise, if she frequented those kinds of shops, not really. But Eve decided that she didn’t know nearly enough about her at all. She would change that. She had to.

“Are you just gonna stare at me, or are you going to come to bed with me?” Villanelle’s voice was as sweet as sugar. It was like stepping in a honey track. Eve didn’t understand how a single person could be so alluring, but she knew that it was possible. 

As she walked over, the book was closed and disappeared in a drawer, landing on top of a gun. One could never know who would appear by their bedside.

Villanelle stopped Eve, just before she climbed into bed.

“Okay, arms up, spread your legs.” Her voice was serious, but when Eve looked into her eyes, she could only see amusement. She patted her down, much more slowly than necessary, without breaking eye contact. “Gotta make sure that you’re not bringing your weapon of choice to bed.”

Her hands went up her body until they were tangled in her hair. She pulled Eve closer until not even a piece of paper could fit between them. 

“Do you have any sharp objects, Eve?” A little laugh escaped her lips. “In prison, they would check in other places. Do I need to do that?”

But Eve just sighed and went in for a kiss.


	3. три - THREE

The light had already flooded the room when she opened her eyes. She was laying in her own bed, in the new house. Her arms were wrapped around a sleeping woman that was facing the other way. Now, this wasn’t unusual for her. Over the years she had many overnight guests. Sometimes multiple at a time. But what she was seeing had her generally confused. Her arms were wrapped around a woman with amazing big hair that smelled like her favourite perfume.

There was no doubt that she was in the same bed as Eve Polastri, and just the thought brought a catlike grin to her lips. She felt the older woman shift, so she closed her eyes, just in time to not get caught staring at her. Not that she would care. 

Eve was staring herself, slowly sitting up in bed. For her, the situation was something she wouldn’t have deemed possible, just a few months ago. But now everything had changed. Eve was headed for quite the messy divorce, she had lost several jobs, her home and her chicken. So many things had changed, but somehow she couldn’t see herself in a different place. Somehow this felt real and safe and natural. 

Villanelle looked like an angel when she was pretending to be asleep. Eve couldn’t help but wonder if she was horrible at faking it, or if she just failed because she had let her guard down. She could tell by the way her lips curled, and by the way, her nose twitched, when her curls touched her face. It was hard to resist reaching out, so she did it anyway and pushed a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. 

“I know you’re awake,” Eve whispered and suddenly she had hazel eyes staring at her intensely. “I can see you smile.”

“Many people smile in their sleep, Eve. It is called having a good dream.”

“I don’t dream about good things anymore.” 

“Sucks to be you.”

Villanelle rolled over and stood up. She was standing next to the bed and just waddled over to the dresser. She opened a drawer and threw a few items of clothing on the bed. Then she moved over to a door, that Eve hadn’t even noticed. What could it be? A secret weapons chamber? She wouldn’t put it past her.

But no, it was just a walk-in closet. A necessity, when you wanted to be the best-dressed assassin worldwide. Just when she closed the door behind her, she heard Eve curse. 

/Someone/ stepped in dog shit. 

It really was a great morning.   
~

Villanelle was sitting on the kitchen counter, legs crossed with an ice cream cone in her hands. She looked like someone was painting her, like she was striking a pose to be photographed and all in all, Eve found herself comparing her to more than just one work of art. Cleaning up behind the dogs of course had been her job. It wasn’t like she had any other choice, because she had assumed that achieving the Villanelle look would require hours in the bathroom and ages to pick an outfit, but just after she had cleaned the dog poop up, she found her like this.

She found herself looking back to the night before. How Villanelle’s hands felt in her hair, how she felt them travel up and down on her body and her disappointment when the blonde woman stepped away and wiped her lips. They had been panting, staring at each other. They weren’t smiling, just staring at each other in pure adoration. That was it. A kiss or two, before they laid down to sleep.

It was strange to Eve, how she hadn’t pushed her further. It was surprising, seeing how many one night stands she had seen, walking out of her apartments and hotel rooms over the time. Hell, she had even walked in on some a few months ago. She had always thought that it was a strategy, a way to pull her in closer. And she hated to admit it, but it worked. 

“Would you like to try? You’re staring.” 

Villanelle licked her lips and held out the ice cream cone, but Eve just shook her head. Instead, she headed for the kitchen cabinets and looked through them to find herself a wine glass. She was rather successful and when she turned back around, Villanelle somehow already placed a bottle of red wine on the counter.

“Oh Eve, do you need a drink to enjoy my company?” She pursed her lips. “And here I thought you could get drunk of my lips…”

She jumped off the counter, finishing her ice cream and she licked her lips. It was amusing to see, how Eve struggled to fill the wine into the glass without spilling it. Oh, how she loved to be the centre of attention. 

She sat down on the rug and patted the ground until she heard little pays and claws on the parquet flooring. The puppies climbed all over her and it made her giggle. Eve really did feel, like she was watching a much more intimate scene. This was pure, so much more pure and sweet than she had thought a psychopath was capable of. She felt like an intruder, and like she had interrupted a movie scene. 

“Won’t you join us, Eve?” A purr came from the living room area and successfully lured Eve over to her. Before she even knew it, they were sitting together on the rug. Watching her play with the dogs made her wonder if she was a psychopath at all. She had no problem imagining Villanelle killing people, but she couldn’t see her harming a puppy. Maybe she just prefers animals over people. Eve couldn’t blame her either way. 

“Why did you never have kids, Eve?” Villanelle asked. She wasn’t looking at her, she was just rubbing Peach’s belly. Apricot (Mini Eve, as she would continue to call her in secret) was taking a walk around the kitchen aisle, just going in a circle. 

It was a difficult topic. Long nights of fighting over it with Niko, long nights of talking about it with her disappointed Asian mother. Just thinking back to those evenings gave her a migraine. With her brows furrowed, she emptied her glass of wine. Eve got up and got herself a refill, not even facing her. One glass became two and the bottle was soon empty. 

“Niko had a few issues in that department.” She rolled her eyes. “And as I got older I just cared less about it and a lot more about my career.”

Villanelle huffed, blowing air out of her cheeks. The puppies tugging on the sleeves of her designer shirt. When she walked up behind Eve, she just wrapped her arms around her and rested her chin on her shoulder. There was nothing that needed to be said, and Villanelle almost regretted poking a wasps nest. She didn’t need to speak, to make sure EVe knew that she was sorry. Apologies weren’t her strong point.

“Are you happy you’re getting divorced?”

“Nobody is ever happy to be divorced, but it’s the only way.” Eve turned around in the embrace and looked her in the eyes. Villanelle nodded.

“I was married. Once.” She said and smiled a bit. “I talked about you in my wedding speech. I just left after the ceremony.”

She was surprised by this, but not too surprised. If she told her that she had ridden a unicorn over a rainbow bridge and found a pot of gold, Eve would assume that the one person to experience this was Villanelle.

“How did that go?”

Silence. For just a moment.

“I forgot her name.”

Eve laughed. 

“Well, as long as you remember mine.”

“Sure, Hannah.”


	4. четыре - FOUR

It turned out that raising puppies was a lot of work. They puked and pooped everywhere, making Villanelle appreciate that she had not purchased expensive carpets and pastel-coloured furniture. She really appreciated that she could just drag the dog out into the garden so that her lovely house was spared. It wasn’t how she imagined owning a dog would be. 

The dogs initially had been a replacement for Eve. They could be her company when she wanted to watch movies with someone. They could just sit there and cuddle her after she came home from a long job and they would wait for her, always. Plus they were like cute little teddy bears and she liked that they had a bit of a personality.

Eve was one and a half bottles of wine in when she started dancing to Beyonce with her mini-me. They were just having the time of their life in the living room, while Villanelle was chopping onions in the kitchen. It hadn’t taken her a long time to figure out that Eve couldn’t cook. She had no idea where she would find things in the Tesco and when Villanelle put her work phone number in Eve’s phone, she couldn’t help but notice that there was an impressive amount of food delivery service apps installed, except for the one that had Eve fired. It made her laugh, but she didn’t comment on it further. 

She wondered who would possibly send Eve to a ton of hoax orders? She couldn’t possibly imagine being so mean and ruin yet another job for Eve. Oh well. She assumed that by this time, the Asian woman had gotten over it. She must have learned quite a bit about coping with the loss of workplace. Whoops.

No, they had silently established that Villanelle would be the one to cook. 

She was making some chicken noodle soup because she wanted some comfort food. On the television, she had learned that soup helped with everything and that worked with her perception of the world. Broken arm? Soup. Broken heart? Soup. Dating an internationally operating assassin with a super high kill count? SOUP. 

Maybe she was just like a child, she thought. Maybe she needed to learn more about emotions. She put the vegetables in the pot and started stirring while watching Eve dance with the dogs. Villanelle didn’t know how long she was watching, but when her phone rang, she was startled. 

She accepted the facetime call and just held her phone up in a model pose. 

“Oh, it is Konstantiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-”

“Yes, yes, hello Villanelle.” He sighed

“-iiiiiiiin!” 

Eve walked over and leaned over the counter. Her head was tilted and her brows furrowed. 

“I’ve got a job for you. Not far away, easy one with good pay.”

Villanelle grabbed the chicken and chopped into pieces, without even looking at what she was doing. All Eve could think about was how she would have chopped her finger off already. 

“What’s the catch? It’s never that boring and easy.”

Konstantin ran his hand through his thinning hair. He licked his lips. Oh, there was a catch. She just couldn’t have a nice little easy job in a while. With him, there was always a catch.

“You’re in a good mood, eh? Did you see Eve?”

She shrugged and turned the camera around. Was it that obvious? Possibly.^^

“We have new responsibilities. We are now puppy parents, so I really need to know the details.” She took a deep breath in. “Do it...for the children.”

He laughed in his old man voice and shook his head. Of course, she was there. Why was he surprised?

“Well, hello Eve.” Konstantin huffed. “I need you to get rid of my daughter’s nanny and pick her up. Say you’re her mother or her nanny or whatever you need to.” 

Eve hummed and gave her a look, but she didn’t say anything. She just knew better than to interfere with their business, even if she didn’t necessarily approve of it. It was her job, so she needed to accept this part about her, somehow. With lots of wine, perhaps. 

“And when are you gonna get her? How long is she my responsibility?”

Villanelle treated Irina like a little sister, but the good thing about little sisters was  
when they went to bed and left you alone.

“You pick her up on Monday and I will have a plane ticket to be ready for Saturday. Now, before you say anything, check your bank account.”

She pointed at her laptop and Eve just carried it over to her. When she opened her banking page, humming and saw the fine deposit, she looked back to Konstantin. 

“Double that for lounging.” 

Konstantin laughed, pleased with her tactic. 

“Don’t let her piss you off. And Eve, make sure my daughter survives her not sister.”

And then he hung up. 

Villanelle turned the heat up and rolled her sleeves up.

“Well, how do you feel about planning a murder for our first date?”


	5. пять - FIVE

Villanelle was in her element, Eve decided. 

She was sitting on her newly build desk, quietly reading through the information that Konstantin had provided her with. Eve hadn’t expected that assassinations required so much preparation. Of course, she had studied female assassins over the years, but watching her favourite one work up close made her fingers itch. The urge to take notes, to study and evaluate her strategy made her go crazy, so she kept her hands busy, brushing the dogs. 

The way she let her fingers glide over the Ipad, effortlessly, as she took notes with the other hand. She was focused and the determination in her face sent shivers down her spine. Eve wondered if being turned on by Villanelle’s work made her a nutcase. No, actually she was quite sure that it did. It was one of those things she would never admit out loud, but just watching Villanelle from a distance worked for her.

Eve was staring at her and Villanelle knew. She could feel her piercing dark eyes on her all of the time. Now, she wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t trust her, or if she simply enjoyed her presence. For her own mind’s sake, she went with option two. When she got up, she watched her eyes follow her and it made her smile. 

She pulled open a drawer and placed a small etui on the desk before she sat down again. Villanelle knew that she was watching her closely, but when she turned her head, Eve was looking at the dogs. She scoffed and patted her lap.

“Come on, baby. Welcome to assassination 101.” She proudly exclaimed.

Eve stood up, but she hesitated to sit on her lap. She found the idea a bit weird, to sit on the lap of someone who was so much younger, but since nobody was watching and the argument that she was too heavy would hardly work, she sat down. Much to her own secret enjoyment, Villanelle hummed in approval.

There was a single piece of paper on the table, just laying there in front of them. Villanelle had drawn a few bubbles on it like it was some sort of messed up mindmap.

“We always start with the key information, you know? Basic things, like when or where. Most importantly who.”

“And why?”

“No, we never ask why.”

“Why?” 

“It doesn’t matter.”

Eve couldn’t argue with that logic. She really couldn’t argue with her. It made sense, not to get too tangled up in the affairs of the people that hired her. Not even if it was just Konstantin. God, now she felt stupid. 

“And how?” 

“How, is a work of art.” She hummed, lost in thoughts as she worked through each of the questions.

Who - A. Ivanova  
Where - Park  
When - After taking a walk, when convenient.

How - Lethal injection

“So, you’re going to poison her?”

Villanelle looked more than proud of her, as she brought her hand up to her lips and kissed it. She was more than excited about sharing the arts of making a murder with her.

“I have a set of syringes in my nailcare etui.” She purred. “So many poisonous options and she’s going to have a quick and efficient death. It will look like she had a heart attack.”  
A clean death with no witnesses. No screaming, no yelling, no blood and no gore. Quick and clean. And so bloody boring.   
No, this wasn’t her favourite way to kill, but it certainly worked for her. And it made her a nice sum of money. And who didn’t like the money? People had done crazier things.

“How are you going to do it?” Eve asked

“Give her a hug. You know…” Villanelle spoke in her favourite posh English accent. “Oh my, thank you so much for your assistance.”  
Villanelle’s foot pulled a bin out from under the desk and with one last look, she dropped the paper in the bin and lit it on fire. 

“Rule number two…” She sighed. “Never plan with evidence. Never have any evidence. Never leave evidence. Nothing at all.”

~

They had driven all the way from Villanelle’s house to bloody Wales. She had to admit, that her experience of Wales had been limited to a weekend in Cardiff to go for a conference. And she had been pissed for most of this experience, clubbing with Elena. She had been married for quite some time. With Niko, the spark had been gone for such a long time. Of course, they had sex, but it wasn’t good anymore. They had fallen into a routine and wedded bliss felt like a padded cell. Every morning she woke up with Villanelle, even without the sexual aspect, she was feeling safe and warm and loved. It felt a bit like being young and in love and even if she never decided to sleep with Villanelle, she knew that they could make it work. But there was work that needed to be done to lay the pavement. 

Wales was filled with sheep without end. Sheep and grass and it turned out that it wasn’t her favourite place. No, it was more of an old people place. Wales reminded her a bit of the farmland in the middle of nowhere in Poland where Niko had grown up. How she had hated the endless summers spent with cows and way too early mornings. Oh, just the thought annoyed her.

Villanelle hadn’t killed in weeks when they met the nanny for a coffee. Konstantin had hooked her up with her number, and she had pretended to be a relative of Irina, just checking in on her. By her side was her personal secretary, or rather, her new apprentice. Not that the nanny needed to know that. She was a boring person. Younger than Eve had expected her to be, but if Villanelle was surprised as well, she didn’t let it show. Instead, she was playing her role to perfection. Now, Eve didn’t know what they were talking about, as she didn’t speak Russian, but she assumed it was quite boring. Every now and then, she would silently ask Eve if she was alright.

She had almost forgotten what they had come for until Villanelle nodded at her and Eve sat down. 

“Now, Miss Ivanova. I am so happy that you took care of my precious little girl!” She exclaimed and pulled her into a tight hug.

When the needle broke the skin, she watched the woman collapse into the hug. Eve licked her lips, when Villanelle dropped the woman into an upright sitting position, right next to her. Villanelle sighed, grabbed Eve’s hand and pulled her up to her feet.

Killing her was a joy, oh, it had been a pleasure, but more of a necessity. Villanelle preferred creative killings. The one that made her be artistic and were a work of art to look back. Oh, how many times she had imagined killing Eve. 

But she decided that the real thing was better than the one time experience. Being with Eve, watching her breathe and interact was better than watching her soul disappear.

~

All that Eve knew was that she was supposed to wait in the car. 

All that Eve did was wait in the car until she heard the trunk opening. She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to see Irina load it with her bags. Villanelle stood next to her, trying to chat her up in all those languages that Eve couldn’t understand. 

She was just looking down at her hands, folded in her lap until both of them were seated. That was when she turned around. Villanelle couldn’t help but kiss her cheek before she leaned back in her seat. 

“How was boarding school?” Eve asked.

“It felt like a punishment.”

Villanelle nodded and started the engine. She could imagine. 

“Oh,” She said. “Your nanny is dead. Sorry.”

Irina groaned. “She was a bitch anyway.”


	6. шесть - SIX

Getting home had been the most draining part of her day. First, Villanelle had to safely dispose of the syringe that she had carried around. And by safely dispose of, she meant that she had tossed it into some river on their drive back. Environmentalism didn’t necessarily seem to be on her agenda. 

The entire drive long, Villanelle had been bickering with Irina, as if she was her little sister. And somehow, Eve could really see it. After all, she knew that she was compensating her daddy issues with Konstantin. It was one of the things she would never bring up, never say them out loud to her. Simply to avoid a fight. To avoid drama. Eve had struggled with maintaining sane, and mostly with surviving the drive without a headache. 

She was not successful, and by the time Irina had gone to bed, her head was pounding. Eve had dropped herself on the sofa, a half-empty glass of red wine beside it. Her eyes were closed, but she was not surprised when Villanelle dropped herself on top of her. Instead, she just rubbed her hand in circles over her back. She felt her lips on her neck, curving into a smile. 

“You’re like a cat.”

“Is that your way of asking to see my butthole?”

Eve groaned and shook her head. She was just impossible. But she was better than any kind of painkillers. 

“Red wine is not good for a headache, you know?” She reached for the glass of wine and emptied it into the little plant that was resting on the table. And God, Eve hated with how much precision she did it. Without even watching, she managed not to spill a single drop. She hated to admit it, but she was impressed. But of course, she didn’t mention it. Instead, she focused on the little kisses Villanelle had saved up for her. All over her neck and up her jaw until their lips clashed. 

Something was different about this evening and she just couldn’t put a label on it. Instead, she just gave in. Villanelle sat up, straddling her waist and pulled her right up with her. Eve needed a hand to support herself, as her head started to spin. 

They hadn’t quite taken this step yet, but Eve was ready for it. She had been waiting for this for so long. Unable to make the first step, because she was so terrified. Sleeping with men was so easy. In and out, ten minutes at most and you were done. But after over fifteen years of marriage, she assumed that she was just used to horrible sex. Niko had proven just how good masturbation could be, and she was just ready to break this circle. 

Villanelle held out a hand and tilted her head. She was curious if Eve would finally take it. Oh, she had been waiting for so long. Giving Eve space, giving Eve the option, but never forcing it on her. And even though she was getting really impatient, she wouldn’t force it on her. No, Villanelle was not an asshole in this way. She would never force it on someone. She would and could never do that to Eve. She almost didn’t think that she would grab her hand, but when she did, a gasp escaped her lips. 

When their eyes met, Villanelle pulled her in and her mouth opened in surprise. 

“Really?”

“Yes.” 

With excitement, Villanelle pulled her up the stairs, giggling like a child, with so much enthusiasm that Eve’s heart melted. She followed her laughing and trying to shush her so that she wouldn’t wake Irina up. 

As soon as they were behind close doors, Villanelle pushed Eve on the bed but followed her quickly. Her tanned, long leg made its way between Eve’s. Her nails ran down her face, her neck, leaving thin red lines, all the way until it made its way to the collar of her shirt. She tugged at the shirt and with confirmation from Eve, she pulled it over her head. Her hands made their way into the mess of black curls and her tongue met Eve’s. 

It wasn’t long until they were rolling over the bed, struggling for power, trying to tear their clothes off each other. It took Villanelle less than two minutes until she was sitting on the bed, only in underwear, breathing heavily.

“Strip for me?” Eve asked sweetly, and Villanelle gasped. She had not expected this kind of attitude from her, but she happily complied. 

Villanelle stood up and started to dance. Shaking her hips, and her bum and getting her tits out. Oh, she could see how much Eve wanted to touch her, but she wouldn’t give her that satisfaction yet. No way. It was her turn now.

She dropped to her knees, taking the bra off of Eve. Her hands ran over her skin, making room for her lips, as she made her way between her legs. 

The moment Villanelle parted her legs, it was over for Eve and she dropped herself back on the bed.

~

When Eve opened her eyes, she immediately shot up. The bed was cold and empty and Villanelle wasn’t in sight.

They had spent an intense night together, long and hot and passionate. Nothing that Eve had experienced in the last twenty years. She regretted not taking Villanelle’s offer for sex up sooner, but at the same time, she wouldn’t change it for the world. It had been such a long time coming. They had been so hungry, so curios. And now she was gone. Their window was open and her robe was gone. Their clothes from the night before were neatly folded and placed on the desk. Eve quickly put on some clothes and hurried outside to the kitchen where she found an already set breakfast table. 

Villanelle was standing in the kitchen, flipping pancakes and helping Irina with her homework. It was an oddly domestic view, and she found herself wishing for more mornings like this. Plus or minus the child. Either would work, as long as they were together.

“Good morning Eve.” Villanelle purred and dropped the pancake on a plate. “How about you move your pretty little ass over here and eat some breakfast, hm?”

Irina gagged. “I think I can live without breakfast.”

“Good idea, so you won’t be as fat as your mother.”

“Okay, but...Rude?!!”

Eve grabbed the plate and sat down next to Irina who seemingly already had forgotten about her loss of appetite, snacking on a pancake over her linguistics homework.

“Did you tell your father that you arrived here?” Eve asked, and the younger girl shook her head. 

“He knows. He doesn’t enjoy chatting on the phone with me.”

Villanelle nodded. “Yes, because you’re annoying.”

“So are you.”

Eve sighed. “Are you sure you aren’t related?”

Once again, Villanelle’s phone went off and she walked across the room to check her emails. 

“We’ve got your plane tickets to Russia. Turns out daddy only paid for economy class.”

“Bastard.”

Villanelle shook her head. “Your /sister/ will buy you an upgrade if you walk the dogs after breakfast.”

“Deal.”


End file.
